


Hope for Us Will Never Die

by jensening



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Comfort, Duty, F/F, Heartbreak, Love, Marriage, One Shot, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jensening/pseuds/jensening
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucina reflects on what has brought her to this moment: crying into the palms of her hands, engaged to a man she does not care for, and being comforted by the mother of her ex-girlfriend.</p>
<p>Severa/Lucina end game! Mentions of Inigo/Lucina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope for Us Will Never Die

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing Fire Emblem fanfiction! I'm a bit behind the times, writing this late into the release of Awakening, I'll admit, but at least I'm finally doing it. I hope the characters are presented okay, and I really hope you enjoy! I wrote this because, well, I was super in the mood to write and what better than the cliche 'I dumped you and became engaged to fulfill my duty but I still love you' angsty romance!

Severa feels like a phantom to her now. When Lucina looks at her, she wonders if she is truly seeing. Wonders if it is instead - like most things are - the illusion of self-perception. It feels like she knows little.

She has seen a world riddled and corrupt with monsters as black as the depths of the greatest void, has been beaten by pain and mocked by her people’s suffering. She has seen Death incarnate. Grima. It should have felt like a nightmare but it did not. It was too brittle and coarse to be a nightmare.

Yet Lucina sees Severa across the camp and always wonders if the girl is real at all.

Maybe she is not.

Maybe she is an imaging born simply so Lucina can endure.

But Lucina knows that that is not true, knows in her heart that that is just ridiculous.

She knows this because Severa is so full and plump with life, like a fruit ready to be picked. She knows the girl like she knows no one else – knows that the common flutter in her eyes did not mean annoyance but meant instead that she was embarrassed and adamant not to admit it. Severa is, after all, a determined person. Though she is not a forceful one, as many would believe. No, she is not forceful. How can the soft, defined beauty of her face make anyone think she could be anything but kind – the blush that often swept across her cheeks reminded Lucina many times of those moments they spent alone together on watch in the future past, where they lay slump and tired against one another and stared at the delicate pink of the setting sun. It was beautiful and quiet, a moment of peace they stole for themselves despite still being able to hear the distant sounds of war and Risen growls.

Severa reminds her of peace and beauty. It almost makes Lucina laugh because Severa can sometimes be anything but peaceful despite never being violent to those that weren’t enemies of war. But it is funny that even in her anger she remains beautiful. Lucina often found herself lost amongst her beauty when Severa was mad, it wasn’t difficult – the way her cute red pigtails bounced when she yelled, how her lip curved down into a pretty little pout when life did not go the way she had planned.

It was a beauty that could warm even the heart of the Fell Dragon.

And, with Cordelia as the exception, Lucina was the only one that could truly cheer her up from her moments of sadness, which were more frequent than Lucina ever wished. But it was simple, really, how to cheer her. So simple it used to make Lucina smile at the most inappropriate of times. She had once been sparring with her mother, Robin, who had promptly asked her upon seeing her large, dopey smile: “Why, Lucina, I didn’t hit you that hard, did I? You look positively loopy.”

Lucina had shook her head and blushed, tried to swallow her smile but it was simply too sweet to do so. So it stayed there, and her mother fed her knowing, weird glances the rest of the session.

So yes, Lucina could cheer up Severa when she was down. She knew how to remove the bitterness from that pout: a sweet kiss against her pale lips. One kiss was all it took. And within moments Severa would be better – she would feign annoyance in vain, and then kiss Lucina again, run her slender fingers through Lucina’s hair and sigh, tugging only slightly like Severa liked to do. It was easy to get lost in moments like those. Easy because the moment itself was so easy, fronted itself in Lucina’s mind; it was like finding a diamond amongst rock.

What was most important about Severa and Lucina was that they balanced each other well both in battle and out: just as Lucina knew how to cheer Severa up, Severa knew in turn how to make Lucina feel better. She used to simply take a seat next to her, wrap a warm arm around Lucina’s waist and pull her close. She would say the same thing no matter the situation, no matter the company, the place, the time. “I’m here for you.”

Now, of course, Lucina sits alone. And when Severa looks at her, she simply sees right through her.

When Lucina looks at her, she wonders if Severa has changed in the time they’ve been apart, even though it has been only three brittle weeks.

Lucina has been engaged for three weeks. She wonders what Severa would say, in a different life. It seems so absurd to be engaged amongst all this war and death.

Oh, Inigo is good to her, she had promised Severa that. She did not know if Severa cared.

Lucina knows, in her heart, that Severa does.

She hopes that she does, despite everything.

Wonders if Severa still wants her happiness above all else, like Lucina still aches for Severa’s.

But Lucina really has no right to wish that, for Lucina had been… well, she’d been selfish, in ways. But the people will always come above herself. It was selfish of her to indulge with Severa knowing that they could never truly be, yes, but she has a sworn duty to the people of Ylisse, to her father and her mother, to those that look to her for guidance. She could never forsake them.

But it instead feels as though she has forsaken herself.

When she takes a seat around the fire for supper, she eats nothing despite it being Severa that has cooked for them. She gives her seconds to Cynthia, who claims that heros need to eat twice as much to save their princess. Lucina chokes on a pathetic little laugh because maybe if she had actually eaten more she would have grown the courage to stay with Severa and finally tell people about them. But perhaps it took more courage to leave.

She had given Cynthia her meal with a push of her hand, then stood and walked quickly to her tent. She shares it with Noire but thankfully the girl was still at the meal. So she sits clumsily onto the wooden bench and drops her head heavily into her hands, lets herself mope like a Princess of Ylisse should not.

The first time Lucina had told Severa that she loved her had been something beautifully mundane. She remembers because the two had been washing dishes together down at the lake, entirely alone in the twilight after dinner. She’d scrubbed the last remnants of food from a bowl and gone to put it aside with the rest, but her hand had lost its grip on the slippery thing and it had fallen into the lake. Severa had laughed at her, called her an idiot, but had also been the first to roll up her sleeve and dunk her arm deep into the water to retrieve it. Her arm had gone deep in an attempt to find the bowl; her face was just touching the surface of the water, legs teetering on the edge of the lake. She’d smiled at Lucina and dug about, her hand waving around in the water.

“I can’t find it.” She had said.

“Oh.” Lucina had replied, smiling as she watched water collect in one of the girlfriend’s red pigtails. “Well I suppose we can go without it. We have spares, do we not?”

“Sure,” Severa replied. “I mean, we did. Before Sumia broke a few of them. Henry stitched them together for a couple of days with a curse, but then they’ll break again. We need to –“

Severa had lost her grip on the bank amidst her talking and fallen face first into the water.

“Severa!” Lucina had exclaimed, darting forward and staring at the water, where ripples told stories of her fall.

She’d stared for a while, not knowing whether to go in after the girl. But then Severa had resurfaced, frowning and soaking wet. Her pigtails drooped, her eyebrows scowled, her lips quivered at the cold feel of the water enveloping her. But then her hand surface too, and in those cold pink digits of hers was the bowl.

Lucina couldn’t help but laugh when she’d seen.

It had only made Severa frown even more, the girl throwing the bowl onto land.

“Hey!” she complained.

Lucina crawled forward. “I’m sorry.” She’d said once her laughter had died down, though there was still a large smile that adorned her face and the glimmer of something beautiful in her eyes. “You just look so cute.”

“I do _not_ look cute, Lucy.”

“I believe that you do. I am happy that you retrieved the bowl, though.”

Severa had snorted and crossed her arms in the water. “I’m soaking.”

“Yes, you are.” Lucina replied.

They’d stared into each other’s eyes, Severa’s eyes soft and brown despite her face seeming mad. And Lucina had just looked at her, at her scowl, her pout, the cute redness in her cheeks, nose, ears, fingertips, and accepted that she loved it all. It had been a moment of undeniable clarity where staring at this girl became a gift, not something she simply enjoyed.

Lucina had taken a breath to steady her heart and, in her shaky exhale, she had admitted why her soul ached. “I love you.”

Severa’s scowl had immediately disappeared.

She had stared at Lucina’s face, her eyes darting from one feature to the other, bouncing across mouth, nose, cheeks, eyes, looking at her in all her sincerity.

“You love me?”

Lucina had stayed still. “I do.”

“Lucina, I –“ Her voice cracked. “I love you too.”

Lucina had beamed at her, darted forward and sealed Severa’s lips in a deep kiss. Severa, just as she always had, had looped her arms around Lucina’s neck and clawed desperately at her back to pull her close. They had sat in the dark and cold, wet lips against dry, and stole a moment from a war-torn world that no one could take from them.

When they parted their foreheads stayed touching, both of them grinning at each other.

“I love you.” Severa repeated, her voice breathy. “I love you, I _love_ you. Gods, I love you. That feels so great to say.”

And Lucina had smiled just that little bit wider, kissed her again just that little bit gentler. Severa had grabbed at her cloak and pulled her, pulled her so hard it was obviously on purpose, and Lucina too had fallen into the water with a loud splash.

And then the two of them laughed together, wet and cold and totally enamoured with nothing but the sight of each other and the warmth they found in their kiss.

 

Yes, the first time they had told each other they loved each other was a memory that could never have an equal. Lucina knows this, and yet she pushed Severa from her and became engaged to someone else.

Because that was her duty.

Gods, the thought makes her tense and ball up in her seat, where she sits alone in her tent. She hits herself in the leg again and again, hoping to feel some measure of the pain she deserves, some pain that can equal that of which is looming in her heart like Grima’s shadow.

She lets herself indulge in the tears whilst Noire is gone and Inigo is not clung to her waist. She wishes it wasn’t as easy to cry now as it was to smile back then. As always, they start off as sniffles at the memory of Severa’s smile or the smell of her hair. But then they grow deeper and desperate at the thought of her humming whilst she cooked, at the way Severa used to call her ‘Lucy’. At the thought of the two of them getting their parents together for a dinner and telling them that they were together and in love, and their parents loving reactions – what could have been.

So yes, she sits there. Pathetically weeps into her hands and mops up whatever tears and snot keep coming with the back of her hand.

When she hears her tent entrance flapping as it opens, she is expecting a questioning Noire but is met with, to her dulled surprise, Cordelia.

“Oh,” Lucina says, quickly wiping her eyes and sitting a little straighter. “I’m sorry, am I needed?”

“No, Lucina, not at all.”

Cordelia does not seem to know what to do, and wobbles on her feet just a little bit as if deciding, so Lucina motions her in. Cordelia takes two large strides but loses her confidence the closer she gets. Still, she crouches in front of Lucina and takes her hand.

“I saw you hadn’t eaten again, just like I saw the previous night, and the one before that.”

Lucina chokes bitterly on a laugh and does not meet her eyes.

“How long have you gone without food?”

“I do eat, Cordelia. I promise. I have breakfast and take a ration with me on my night watch.”

“But you do not eat dinner or lunch.”

“I am not particularly hungry of late.”

Cordelia hums. It reminds her so painfully of Severa she can feels another stab of tears in her throat.

“May I ask how long this has been going on?”

Lucina doesn’t see what harm it could possibly do, she knows she has already ruined the mirage of happiness she has created with Inigo, knows it has been shattered with Cordelia discovering her tears.

“About three weeks.” She says arduously, a sob racking in her chest, the words more of a cry than an actual voice.

Cordelia grips at her hand just that little bit tighter. “I do not mean to be presumptuous, Lucina, but is that not how long you have been engaged to Inigo?”

Lucina sobs again, her strong back crippling under the effort of simply staying awake. “Yes.”

Cordelia remains quiet. Lucina expects it but still feels she must look into her eyes to see what the woman is thinking –

When she is greeted with sad brown eyes that seem to understand more than they know, Lucina’s heart aches.

“You know,” Cordelia begins, glad to have Lucina’s sight to gauge for a reaction. “my dear Severa has been having trouble sleeping for that amount of time as well. And as I remember, you two used to spend every day together and now see very little of each other.”

Lucina does not even blink.

“I decided it was odd, so I talked to Robin. Funnily enough, she also has seen a change in you. Says you used to go all doughy eyed and dazed when sparring with her, but now you are either overly destructive and harsh during training or you find very little effort to be able to spar at all.”

“We’re in a war.” Is Lucina’s only reply.

“Yes,” Cordelia says, more firmly now. “And up until three weeks ago both you and my daughter were dealing with it as well as the rest of us.”

Lucina knows she has been caught, so she says nothing. She simply stares at the woman in front of her who only stares back, probably examining Lucina’s heavy bags and dead blue eyes.

Cordelia nods her head a couple of times in thought and shuffles closer, enveloping Lucina’s hand in both of her own. “Lucina, I used to love a man once, one I thought I could never have. Because of this I never even told him how I feel but I often wonder what would have happened if I had. Maybe I wouldn’t be with my husband, and maybe I would. But Lucina, I think above all, if I had known what it was like to be with him and then let us be pulled apart, there is nothing I would have regretted more in my entire life. And certainly I do not believe I would ever feel as full as I could have with him.”

Cordelia smiles sadly and tucks some of Lucina’s blue hair behind her ear. “I know that if I was made to part from Severa’s father now, I would never feel whole. I hate to think that you are experiencing this so young in your life. I want you to live a full life, and a happy one.”

“I have a duty.” Lucina says, her voice dull and crooked with upset. “I must marry and take the throne if my father dies before – before the Lucina in this life becomes of age.”

“That’s a big if, Lucina.” Cordelia says. “And if that is true, then we both know who you truly wish to marry.”

Lucina drops her head and shakes it sharply from side to side. “We are impractical. We cannot produce an heir. I must marry someone –“

“I thought you were only supposed to rule so long as baby Lucina is too young to do so herself.”

“But if something should happen –“

“Lucina.”

“It is my duty.”

Cordelia sighs and pats Lucina’s knee, stands and slides next to Lucina on the bench.

“You know, at night I hear my daughter crying in her bedroll. Kellam is always asleep next to me, I don’t think anything could wake him, but I am forced to lie there and listen to my baby girl suffer when she thinks no one can hear her.”

“I’m so sorry –“ Lucina chokes, slumps her forehead into the palm of her hands again and lets the desperate cry escape her chest. “I never wanted to – I’m sorry, Cordelia, I’m so sorry – I didn’t want to hurt her, never in my life did I want to hurt her -“

“You don’t have to sacrifice your own happiness to make somebody else’s, Lucina. And I certainly don’t wish for you to sacrifice yourself _and_ my daughter’s simply for a whole lot of big ‘ifs’.”

Cordelia places a soft kiss to the top of Lucina’s head. It feels a bit strange but it is made entirely to comfort her and Lucina does indeed feel that little bit warmer for it.

“Please,” Cordelia finishes. “take your happiness where you can. War is brutal but is made so much easier to bear by the people we surround ourselves with. You have some good friends, Lucina, but in the end there is nothing more powerful than the love I know you and my daughter share.”

“I do love her.” Lucina croaks. “She has to know this.”

But Cordelia only smiles so sadly, shakes her head. “Actions have always spoken louder than words with our Severa. You should know this best of all.”

“I will prove it, then. And I will make you proud to greet me as a future step-daughter, or so do I hope.”

Lucina sees how Cordelia stands a little straighter. “So you’re going to her?”

“I love her.” Lucina replies. She stands and lets her hand rest on the hilt of Falchion, the friend that has been with her through every step in her life. Aside from Morgan, there is only one other that has been with her so long. And Lucina will win her back. “And I want to be with her.”

“Do you believe she will take you?”

“Perhaps not.” Lucina replies. “But I will live and breathe for her until she does. My hope for us will never die.”

Later that night, when Lucina presents Severa with the House of Ylisse ring, Severa will frown and pout at her with annoyance. This time, that annoyance won’t be fake, but when Lucina slips the ring onto her finger and see the tears in her fiancé’s eyes, she knows just what to do.

And so she kisses her, lets their insecurities float away with the taste of each other. After all, she always knew how to cheer Severa up. And now she could continue to do so for the rest of her life.


End file.
